The Pencils of Vice

Ahhh, sad but true, some poor innocent little pencils end up forced into lives of sin and debauchery. Corrupted with “extra features” they are employed to try and lead us astray.

First we have The Demon Drink.

This pencil is an old advertising pencil for the Scotch Whisky, "Bullochlade Gold Label". The lettering is impressed into the plastic body, so you can still read it, but I guess it was originally also colour printed as well and that has worn off. The “wood look” body seems reminiscent of barrels of whisky maturing in the picturesque glens of Scotland. Nowadays Bullochlade is a brand of worldwide drinks mega-corp Diageo.

A little penknife blade folds out of the body, perhaps to help cut the foil around the neck of your bottle of Gold Label? Or to whittle away on a stick whilst you savour your fine malt blend, sliding oh so slowly and gently down the slippery path to damnation.
For a touch of irony, this pencil of fine Scotch Whisky also bears the lettering “Made in England”.
Next we have The Insidious Weed.


This is a penciliter - “It Lights, It Writes” - a pencil at one end, a cigarette lighter at the other. It is Ronson brand. These were apparently made with a variety of body types – rolled gold, rhodium plated, etc. This particular one is a sort of rubberised type paint finish, probably making it one of the cheaper versions. Still it’s quite interesting. Plenty of spark when you operate the mechanism, so I’m sure it would still light up a ciggy or two. You twist the tip to propel or repel (return) the lead. The pencil unit and the lighter unit both just pull out of the body for servicing, etc.

Then of course The Indolent Lady Luck.


Another advertising pencil, but this otherwise seemingly innocent little pencil is rotten to the core. Twist off the top and out fall 5 little poker dice.
Come on, no one is looking, bring on the games of chance - give in to the vicissitudes of the dice and gamble your life away!

Finally of course, we have The Temptations of the Flesh.

Sex sells. Back in the1950’s it was “If hot babes like this airline stewardess can see your upmarket writing instrument then you’ll score for sure.” (National Geographic Magazine, back cover, May 1957).
Taking things to the extreme though, was of course, “The Nudie Pencils”, as per my previous posting.
PS – Just for the record, I’m not really a moralising hardcore fundamentalist prohibitionist type, I do occasionally enjoy one or two of these vices myself.