Friday, March 07, 2008

Ten Things Not To Do

OK, well, a while ago I did a bit of blog searching to see what people were saying about mechanical pencils on “non-pencil” blogs. It gave me a few ideas, one of which was this list, “Ten Things Not To Do With Your Mechanical Pencil”. According to the blogs I read, people have actually done these things. Without further ado, in no particular order,

DO NOT

  1. Roll up your exam cheat notes and store them inside your MP.
  2. Stab people with your MP.
  3. Use the barrel of your MP as a drainage device during (presumably) illegal home-surgery on your cat.
  4. Use the lead sleeve as a toothpick.
  5. Use the lead sleeve as a fingernail cleaner.
  6. Use the barrel of your MP as a blowgun.
  7. Use two MPs as drumsticks and get thrown out of class.
  8. Use the barrel of your MP as a dispenser of meat marinade.
  9. Use your MP as a dart to play darts with.
  10. Use the barrel of your MP to snort (illegal) substances.

Truth be told, most of these are pretty standard stuff, except numbers 3 and 8 are rather disturbing, for different reasons.

7 comments:

pigpogm said...

It's like a mech pencil geek's purity test.

I only scored 1.

Germ said...

I'm guilty of #2, 4, 5, 6, 10 (smoke, used cross barrel....)

needless to say, I have not led a sheltered life. I am a firm believer that you must experience things, to know not to do them.....

i now know. :)

germ

Anonymous said...

I have done something (somewhat) similar to #8 - I once used a mechanical pencil, lead sleeve extended and with a rubber bulb fitted in place of the eraser, to dispense concentrated acids in a chemistry class.

Anonymous said...

I find that tube-type lead sleeves work admirably well for the purpose of cerumen extraction.

...and now that you've looked up 'cerumen', you know why I posted this anonymously.

(KIDS! Only very silly programmers with very bad hearing trouble do this. Sensible people go and visit a doctor where they can have caustic drops dripped in their ears, followed by high-pressure salt water, which is approximately as effective as it is disturbingly uncomfortable. And then they can shout 'Hooray'.)

kiwi-d said...

Taking Number 2 to the extreme, don't use your mechanical pencil as a murder weapon, as on the TV show 'Bones', season 4, episode 19, "The Science in the Physicist".

a nobud said...

Well then, I guess I'm the goody two shoes among all of us???

John said...

I have to admit to using my pencils lead sleeve to clean my fingernails (nothing works quite like it).